Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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