awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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