You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This is not my ceiling
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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