**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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