those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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