You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
