I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize