...so i touched it.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
