come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
