The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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