as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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