Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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