no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
