i may or may not be watching the land before time
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
