What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
