"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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