She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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