i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
