What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
