That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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