Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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