I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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