my mouth tastes like poor choices
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
