I'm jealous of your bromance
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
