there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
