He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
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But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
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Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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