I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
not ubering you a puppy
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
