I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
