Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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