Porn is love you can see.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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