so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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