there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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