Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone owes me an orgasm
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She bit a glass in half.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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