My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
