is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
