Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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