Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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