Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
