Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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