Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize