The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
