There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
