I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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