we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
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you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
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I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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