She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
