I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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