Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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