PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
