You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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