It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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