My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
