it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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