You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I've blown a few things in my day
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
