Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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