then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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