After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
