don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
