Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize